Looking back...

...over the last blog post, I realise it is pretty dull. Not the food...the food was great! I meant the way I wrote it...reading it back, it wasn't the voice of excitement.

So apologies for it not being that engaging...inspiration is a little low in my words right now.

But, the meal didn't lack any feeling, care or attention. In fact, despite myself, the whole experience of preparing that meal was gentle, very engaging and inspired in its own way.

I was totally immersed in what I was doing, I barely even thought about it.

I love that about cooking. Undisturbed, in that space, my mind can relax, ideas and thoughts flow so freely and there is no anxiety. I realised there are so few times I feel that complete ease in what I am doing.

Even when I draw and paint, there is an element of worry, nervous tension, that holds me back. My demons in my mind whisper to me, 'it wont work, its not good enough...'. Not when I cook... there is no worry, no fear. I just know it will be fine, because I feel calm and and completely involved in every moment. A Zen experience. I think the key is, that even if its not fine, even if it falls apart and is tasteless, it actually dosen't matter. And I am not worried. Because the people that love me (and have to eat it!) will forgive me my errors and just see the attention and care that has gone into it. They would know that my intentions were in the right place.

That's the lesson. Try not to worry...god knows that's not easy. Don't worry about the mistakes. You will inevitably make them, I seem to all the time. The ones who care will get over it, laugh with you, encourage you on and you will only get better. In anything in life, I guess. 

Now I just have to try to apply that philosophy of fearlessness and calm to everything else in my life. Good luck to me!